I went on a date with a 30-something and the world didn’t explode.

The last time I went on a date with an age gap, I was a sophomore in college. Blissfully unaware of decent vodkas, 401ks, and the tackiness of my fake Long Champ. He was 27, I was 20. At the time this age gap seemed astronomical. Like, 7 years?! Omg he was legally able to drink when I just got my period for the first time!!!! (This was my dead ass thought process). The date was OK, but my anxiety about the age difference trumped any attraction I felt towards him.

Fast forward 3.5 years later. I’ve upgraded to Tito’s, still don’t totally understand how a 401k works, and finally invested in a nice-ass Rebecca Minkoff tote. Up until last week, my Tinder age preferences were set between 23-28. Anyone over 28 was “too old.”

I bet they have a sweet 401k plan. I can’t commit to someone like that yet. 

“You need to start dating older men,” he told me. Looking back at this conversation with my bar guest, this was probably an attempt to flirt, but we were so deep into this conversation about immature men that I disregarded the fact that he might have been referring to himself.

So I did it. I made the move. The big kahuna move from left to right on my Tinder age preference scale. 24-31.

31. Omg. 31?!?!!?! My palms started to sweat.

I then quickly shut the app as I realized I was sweating over Tinder. Get it together. 

The next day I was casually swiping. You know, just your every day, is she swiping or Pokemon Go-ing? millennial past time.

It’s a match!

My first definitely-has-a-401k-plan- match (I’m not sure why I keep associating adulthood so in depth with 401ks but it just sounds right). We chatted and I knew it was a Tinder-match-made-in-heaven when he agreed with my argument about vanilla being the best flavor of ice cream.

I quote, “When God made ice cream, he made vanilla.”

Aight, cool, I feel you 401k-er.

We had a very brief conversation before he asked me out. Omg aggressive, I thought. Then I was like, oh wait, maybe this is how dating apps should be-not exhausting conversations before you meet IRL. 

I agreed. He initially suggested drinks, then added dinner onto the deal. YES!!!!

Won’t give you the play by play of the evening (although I know y’all are DYING to hear it), but let’s just say the last leg of the date consisted of getting hammered playing Guess Who? at a board game bar. It was like the dream first date I never knew I wanted.

We talked about politics, jobs, and other “adult like” things. But the age gap didn’t matter. We were just two single people who enjoyed each other’s company.

I don’t know why 30-somethings frighten me. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a career set in place, or maybe it’s because I don’t match my socks (probs will never do that tbh). Not totally sure where the anxiety about dating them stemmed from.

Maybe the next 30-something I go out with will make me feel extremely 23. Not sure, but I’m down to find out.
Dating is weird and exhausting on so many levels, but you’re only making the process worse if you stick with what you know.

Like, I know the twenty-somethings I’ve “dated” here are kind of the worst. So, sticking to what I “know” hasn’t been working out. Perhaps it’s time to start adopting ~dat 401k way of life.~

I actually don’t know if he has a 401k plan. I never asked. Is that an appropriate first date question? But, I do promise I’ll stop overkilling metaphors in my blog posts.


3 thoughts on “I went on a date with a 30-something and the world didn’t explode.

  1. Your post has filled me with giggles. So lovely to hear you had a nice first date! I totally know how you feel. Because of the life I’ve lived, I’ve been told time and time again that I’m way more mature than most other humans my age. One of my closest friends told me one night after we were ranting about our disdain for people as a whole, “maybe you just need to date, you know, older men.” I never even thought of it before. Right now I’m dating someone so it’s irrelevant, though I’m not totally sure if it will work out, so naturally my mind sometimes freaks out thinking, “but what IF I have to start dating again?!”

    I think it is really strange that people between the ages of 25-35 are so pressured by society to have their lives together and have everything planned out by now, and even have a 401k (still not entirely sure what it means either, something about money right?). The reality is most of us don’t, and you know what? It’s totally okay. We’re just trying out best to figure out this whole life thing out. Of course the maturity level and effort one puts into that varies. I’ve met some people a few years younger than me who are far more mature and smarter, and I’ve also met people much older than me who still act like teens. I’m never totally sure how much age really matters. If anything, I think maybe the best solution is to not exclude people the same age as myself, but also just broaden the scope a little and see what happens. Couldn’t hurt, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was awesome lol. I love how you stepped outside of your comfort zone to date “different” or “differently.” I think that’s the biggest lesson learned from your experience – that trying something new could actually work in your favor rather than becoming a nightmare. Believe it or not, us 30+ year old daters still date with question marks all over the place. I still go on dates wondering if my lack of career goals will doom me before the date ends. Congrats on having a successful experience and I hope that you continue to consider new dating ventures. Side note – a board game bar sounds like heaven dipped in a Blue Moon lol. I need to find one in Chicago


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