Girls are girls. Guys are guys. There are things we just understand about each other that the opposite sex simply can’t comprehend. For example, Why are guys idiots? I have no idea. Why are girls crazy? That’s just false (we aren’t-OK maybe sometimes). That being said, there are certain things about yourself that only your girlfriends will ever understand which has led me to the assume the following hypothesis:
Being in a relationship with your best friend will be better than any relationship with any guy.
Why you ask? Well, it’s pretty simple to figure out.
She will always text you back.
We all want a reliable texting buddy. Someone to remind us that we’re amusing and awesome. This is where your girlfriends will come in. She’ll always text you back either immediately or within a 15 minute time frame. If not, she’s either asleep or dead. She gets that “I’m busy,” “I’m working,” “I’m in a meeting,” or “I’m throwing up blood,” simply are not acceptable excuses. Double text, triple text, drunk text, any-type-you-want text without getting slapped with the label “psycho,” “creepy,” or “clingy.” She’ll always text you back immediately because she understands the agony and anxiousness of anticipating a text that may never come. Text her stupid shit. Text her about your professor’s pit stains and the one leg you forgot to shave. Drunk texting? It’s encouraged rather than frowned upon. She’ll understand your misspelled words and broken sentences and is most likely just as fucked up as you are. Be in a relationship with your girlfriends and you’ll never have to regret any text you send ever again. You’ll never have to question whether or not you should double text, and you can bet that you’ll have a reliable text buddy 4 lyfe*~.
She understands “pizza.”
No, boys, pizza is not just a 5 letter noun. Pizza is a way of life. Pizza is the motive. Sometimes pizza is there when no one else can be. Pizza doesn’t leave your side. It listens to you when you feel shut out from the world. Pizza is love, life, and happiness all put together in one cheesy slice of heaven. Sometimes, not having pizza just isn’t an option. Your friends get that. Your friends comprehend “pizza” and everything it stands for so when you want to drown your emotions in it they’ll be right there next to you. Screw a dinner date on the waterfront. Nothing screams “romantic” than a large box of melted cheese.
She’s honest and will never cheat.
Trust. In order to have a functional and successful relationship, trust is key. Trust goes hand in hand with honesty. If you claim your man is honest, I beg to differ. “You look the most beautiful when you first wake up in the morning.” I’m calling bullsh*t and I’m rather insulted. Your girlfriends won’t do that to you. If she’s running late, and she tells you she’s taking a sh*t, that’s not code for anything else. It actually means she’s taking a sh*t. Date your friends and they’ll tell you when you need a bit more mascara, or when you just shouldn’t be seen in public all together. Texting other girls will never be an issue because odds are you’re all in the same group message sending useless emojis to each other simply because you can. If she goes home with someone else, it’s not considered cheating. You’ll know it’s just to get laid because you both have a mutual understanding of where your heart truly lies.
She’ll think everything you say is important.
I know with my past relationship with men, a majority of the fights of have centered around what we each view as important. I can totally tell when my exes would be “listening” to something I’m saying but in reality don’t care about it at all. It hurts and makes me feel unimportant. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life because you ARE important. Date your BFF and she’ll take everything you say and make it the most important issue in the world. She’ll understand that the 7 panties you purchased for $26 is just the BEST THING EVER and she’ll appreciate every detail to every drama-filled story you’ll ever tell. She’ll listen to you vent about Meredith and Derek’s relationship and understand when you say it was the reason for your bad mood today. Sometimes you just need to debate about what filter to use. Sometimes you just need to sit down with someone and pick one BUT IT’S SO HARD, your stressed and you need help. Your friends get that. Guys don’t. They’ll shoo you off like you’re some annoying gnat in their ear.
She’ll never leave you.
Love is a two way street. In order for a relationship to work, both parties must feel the same way about each other, or then it just turns into a cat-chasing-mouse game or just a messy break up all together. You can always trust that your girlfriends will never leave your side, and well if they do, you have plenty to fall back on. Date your BFF and you can be sure she’ll be loyal to you and never walk out on you, because um, she doesn’t really have a choice, lol. You may not have a legal contract binding you together, but there’s a unspoken code in order that once you actually reach the level of BFF, that last “F” actually means forever. You’re stuck and there’s no way of getting out. But, it’s OK, because the dating world is scary. Guys cheat, lie, and break your heart. The world is scary outside of your everlasting bonds with your girlfriends. Without them, you feel lost and scared, like a lonely puppy trapped in one of those God-forsaken pet shops. Being in a caring and loving relationship with your BFF is much, much safer and secure, I can promise you that.
She gets you.
She knows you don’t mean to be a bitch when it’s that time of month, you just can’t help it. She understands those days when you just need to be left alone with your bed and Netflix and she certainly understands when sometimes you just want to shut out the world completely and throw a pity party for yourself. Not only will she let you throw a pity party, she’ll make sure she has a bottle of wine waiting for you to throw your pity party. She knows after a long shift at work on a Friday night, all you want upon arriving home is a drink ready for her. She’ll understand that when you cry, you aren’t being needy and dramatic, even if it’s because your NYE dress is backordered. She understands you like nobody else does. She’s simply your one true love.
So, there you have it. Several strong points that back up my claim that Being in a relationship with your BFF will be better than any relationship with any guy. We’re young, stupid, and vulnerable. Life is short. There is simply no time for petty arguments about that girl he is Snapchatting and certainly no time for sitting around always wondering if he loves you or not. You should just know. And you certainly do just know that your girlfriends have an undying love for you that will never simmer out; no matter how many double texts, petty fights, or shameful decisions you make. A relationship with a guy is like a ticking time bomb, anxiously awaiting to spontaneously combust thus causing your heart to combust into a thousand pieces as well. Then, after that, it’s like a snowball effect. He breaks up with you, you drown yourself in ice cream and chocolate, you gain weight, you stress out about gaining weight, and then your life is over. Just like that.
Hearts are fragile. And so is life. Make the right choice. Date your BFF and live a happy, carefree, guy-free life.