I read this GQ article today titled “The New Rules of Chivalry”. I found it to be particularly cunning and accurate, but then I thought to myself, why are men the only sex expected to follow these chivalrous codes? C’mon people, it’s the 21st century. Although we still get a mere 81 cents to your dollar, many things about women have changed. The way we dress, the way we act, the way we “don’t need no man.” Society is changing people, so don’t expect men to follow some set of guidelines when you can’t do the same.
So, I’ve created a women’s version of “The New Rules of Chivalry.” Read closely, ladies, as times have most certainly changed.
Old Rule: He should send the first text. New Rule: Text him.
I hate to love texting. I really do. Society today has created a simple text message into a freakin’ Picasso painting worthy of extensive analysis. Like, wtf? He shouldn’t have to text you first. If you’re interested, talk to him. If he doesn’t answer you after two, maybe three times, then I’m sorry to tell you, he’s not into it. Send the goddamn text message because maybe he needs the reassurance that you’re into him just as much as you do. Guys have feelings too… even if they might not show it 80%-ok maybe 95% of the time.
Old Rule: Wait to for him to define your relationship. New Rule: Define your relationship how you want to define it.
This kind of goes along with the whole waiting for the first text idea. As women, most of us fall fast and fall hard. In this hook up culture that we currently live in, there are a million and one different ways to describe a relationship between two people. Either your “talking,” “texting,” “hooking up,” “dating,” or “Facebook official,” and everything else in between. We go through the motions and just wait for a guy to initiate taking it to the next level. Because, God forbid you tell a guy you want to be exclusive after 5 months of constantly talking and hooking up. That would just classify you as a stage-5 clinger. Right? No, wrong. If you like the guy, tell him. You don’t need to wait for the guy to define what you are. It’s OK to talk to him about it. We’re all mature enough to handle adult conversations. Who knows? The guy might be struggling to tell you his feelings for you too. It could be a conversation that could benefit the both of you. Remember- guys are emotional human beings just like the rest of us!
Old Rule: Order a salad or something easy to eat when you go on a first date. New Rule: Get the bacon cheeseburger with extra BBQ sauce and cheesy fries.
As the wise and beautiful Marilyn Monroe once said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” You can’t deal with me wolfing down a double cheeseburger? Cool, then you definitely can’t handle me when I PMS. Most guys enjoy a girl that enjoys food, because ~~*food=love=life=happiness*~~. He knows that you’re ordering a salad because that’s the “proper” thing to do. What guy doesn’t want a girl to share a large box of pizza and a 6 pack with? EXCEPTION: Don’t do this if you plan on going home with him afterwards. I don’t see all this fattening food working out in your favor when you’re in a food coma on his couch and he’s trying to be intimate.
Old Rule: Wait for the guy to ask you to hang out. New Rule: Don’t wait for sh*t.
This seems to be a common theme amongst this new code for women. If you want to see him, tell him!! Initiate plans, but don’t get too ahead of yourself. If you’re always the one putting the time and effort him to see him, he’s either too shy or not into it. Trying to figure out which category he falls under may be difficult, but bottom line is, don’t keep waiting for him. If he wants to see you, he’ll make time to see you. But, don’t just give up on him because he isn’t asking to hang out 24/7. Nobody wants that. Don’t always assume he thinks you’re annoying either. Guy’s are kind of, well, stupid sometimes. Sometimes they need the extra push to figure it out.
Old Rule: Love is ~~eternal~~ and MaGiCaL and will last ~*4eva*~ New Rule: Your first love probably won’t be your last love.
We all have heard stories about how our parents met. We’ve heard the most adorable stories about how they bumped into each other on the train and have been in love every since! Or, maybe they fell in love in the 7th grade in Mr. Smith’s science class when they were forced to be lab partners. Things were different back then. Life throws us curveballs every single day, and we just need to face the fact that sometimes love isn’t enough. Just because you have strong feelings for a guy doesn’t mean you’ll end up in a relationship. Things just get in the way. Life gets in the way. I feel like guys understand this more than girls. Most of us act on our emotions, not really thinking rationally. If you go on a couple dates with a guy and really like him, it might not turn into anything. That’s OK. Unfortunately, love sometimes isn’t enough anymore. You’ll fall in and out love a few times in your life, and that’s totally OK. Don’t expect the guy to be all couple-y with you right away. He has is own life and you have yours.
Old Rule: Put your phone away. New Rule: Put your phone away.
I stole this from the GQ article because it is just SO true. I know you want to Snapchat the sh*t out of how much fun you are having on your date and Instagram your mouth-watering food. But seriously, it can wait. I asked one of my guy friends what one of his top turn-offs is and he said, “a girl who is always on her phone.” I love my iPhone as much as the next girl, but there is always a time and place.