2 blog posts in 3 days, what?!
Some of you college grads may hate me for saying this– but I feel so old. High school graduations are in about a month and the fact that mine was 3 years ago is quite terrifying. In two years I’ll be suiting up to go to my 5 year anniversary to see some of my fellow 2011 classmates and attempt to act surprised about pregnancies, weight gain, and engagements even though Facebook has already informed me. There are plenty of things I miss about high school, but if you were to ask me if I could go back, no way in hell. High school were some of the best, but also some of the worst times of my life. Ask me 3 years ago if I would be at the point in my life emotionally and physically that I am today I would say hell-to-the-no.
One of my readers emailed me asking if I could write about things I wish I realized in high school–let me tell you girl, that list is never ending. I’ll try and attempt to narrow it down to the major ones. So, Kayla from Bloomfield, CT, this ones for you!
1. High school boyfriends are fun, but realize you have the rest of your life to find your soulmate.
I myself had a long term boyfriend in high school, and it was certainly a relationship that I will never forget. I’d like to consider him “my first love,” and “my first heartbreak,” but my idea of true love has changed drastically as I’ve grown older. I’ve realized that you don’t know what true love is until you and your partner are living completely separate lives but still have the power to grow together. You may think that you see the rest of your life with that person, but don’t wish away your life just yet. Allow yourself to live your own life before you promise yourself to someone else’s. There is no love quite like high-school love, so embrace it and have fun with it, but don’t let it control your life.
2. There are no friends quite like high school friends.
I’ve met some pretty awesome people at UMass and here in South Africa, people that I will be in contact with for the rest of my life. However, my high school friends will always hold a special place in my heart. I have had the privilege of being part of possibly the most amazing friend group since my freshman year of high school. They have gotten me through the toughest times and have helped created memories that I will never forget. So, going along with #1, don’t focus so much on boys. Focus on friendships with people because those are the people who will be there when your boyfriend isn’t.
3. Stacy calling you a slut may seem like the worst thing in the world, but you will get through it.
Girls are mean. They thrive of drama, start rumors for the fun of it, and sometimes pay no mind that they are destroying someone else’s life. I’ve been called things that I’ll never forget. When I would be mixed into the scandal of the week and people talked about me, I let it destroy me. I’d come home and cry, hating everyone and everything. Unfortunately, the bullying never stops. People are going to call you every name in the book if it makes themselves feel better. 6 months back, a girl told people that I had an eating disorder, and rather than confronting me about it, she treated it as a scandal worth talking about with everyone but myself. It was a horrible thing to deal with, and it made me realize that there will ALWAYS be people who are going to challenge your self-worth. Don’t let them. Stacy might call you a slut, but I bet Kara thinks you’re one of the most amazing girls out there. Don’t focus on the negativity people bring into your life, focus on the people who see the good in you, even when you can’t see it yourself.
4. Make decisions that you’ll be proud of later down the road.
I make stupid choices on the reg. I find myself thinking, “What the fuck are you doing?” more times than I’d like to admit and I certainly made plenty of stupid decisions in high school. It’s impossible to be perfect, but it’s important to always be conscious of how the decisions you make will affect you later down the road. Alcohol and partying will always be there, don’t let those things get in the way of the captainship of your sports team that you worked so hard to get.
5. Don’t be a bitch.
It’s such an obvious statement but my GOD girls can be such bitches. Seriously, keep your goddamn mouth shut and if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Don’t call Miranda fat behind her back, don’t make fun of Hannah’s wardrobe, and simply put: don’t be a bitch. Being a bitch isn’t in style, and it never will be. “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” It’s not cool to have everyone raise their hand when asked if they’ve been personally victimized by you (~~*hApPy 10 yEaR AnNivErsAry Mean Girlzz*~~). But, yeah, just be nice, please?
6. 98% of your classmates will have second hand embarrassment for you when you engage in social media drama.
Ahhh, social media. Our best and worst friend all at the same time. Subtweets-we’ve all done at least one. Facebook fights-are those still a thing? Engaging in a fight over the internet or posting a status about someone is so ridiculous I can’t even fathom why people do it in the first place. “Fuckin’ ratchet hoe!!!!! Lmao!!! No wonder why no one likes you, stupid slut!! lol!! :p :p” Like, no, you’re a ratchet hoe for posting that. What was the point in posting that? Please, enlighten me. “Thank you for making my life a living hell, fuck you and your stupid unibrow. #sad #depressed #someonepleaseretweetandfavoritethissomyexboyfriendwillseethisandgetbacktogetherwithme” #Youlookstupid. Social media isn’t a place to hate on your parents or to slut shame, so don’t do it. Text your BFF about it, because that’s what she’s there for.
7. Make out with multiple dudes (or gals) at a concert while it’s still socially acceptable.
Comcast center lawn seats and Cossack in Poland Spring water bottles fo’ lyfe!
8. Realize you can’t be everyone’s best friend.
You can spend your life wondering why she doesn’t like you, or you can accept your differences and move past it. There will always be people who don’t agree with the decisions you make, and will find any reason not to like you. “She bought the same prom dress as me, she deff did it to piss me off.” People are always going to find a reason to criticize you no matter what you do. You don’t need people like that in your life. Don’t hate on her, but don’t waste your energy on her either. Spend time with people who enjoy your company.
9. Strive to be popular.
No, I’m not talking about the “popular” crowd who drinks and parties every weekend. Although I partied on occasion in high school, I also made a conscious effort to get to know other people in my grade as well. I didn’t restrict myself to one group of friends. Get involved and talk to people that you’d never thought you’d get along with. You’d be surprised about how many awesome people are in your grade that you just don’t know too much about. Alcohol and partying doesn’t make you popular, so don’t let yourself believe it does. Go outside your comfort zone and see who else is out there.
10. High school doesn’t last forever.
Sometimes it probably feels like you’ll be trapped in the same school forever, surrounded by the same people, dealing with the same drama. I felt like that sometimes. By the second half of my senior year, I was ready to get the hell out. I was ready for new faces and most certainly ready for a fresh start. Some of the things you deal with in high school may feel like the worst thing in the entire world, but don’t worry, there is still a whole new chapter in your life that you have yet to explore. Don’t wish your life away, but also realize high school is just a small part of life that is over before you know it.
11. Be yourself.
I get that this is easier said than done. But, if you think about, we are actually all huge losers, we just don’t show it. I’m not asking you to dance in your underwear to Taylor Swift down the hallway because it’s what you do in private (Am I the only one?), but don’t sacrifice who you are to fit in. Cliques will always be there, and the challenge to feel like you belong is always a struggle. We all want to feel like we are keeping up with the societal norms in fear that people may reject us if we don’t. You may not have yourself figured out by the time you graduate, but people will certainly respect you more if you are true to who you are.
12. The love you have for yourself is more important than any love that anyone can provide.
Love yourself. Love every inch about yourself because it’s the best kind of love that life can provide. When you love yourself you won’t need a boy to tell you how beautiful you are because you’ll already know it. One of the most important things I learned in these 3 years is that happiness starts from within. Don’t blame other people for the black cloud that follows you. You’re the one who is letting that black cloud follow you, so do something about it. You’re ex-boyfriend isn’t the one that is making you cry, neither is that bitch Stacy, you are letting yourself cry. I understand things happen that you can’t control, but two things that you can control in life are the love you have for yourself and your inner happiness. Learn to control those two things and you’ll live an amazing life.
The list could go on and on, but I those are the major ones for me.
Enjoy high school while you can and make memories with the people that matter most (but college is so much better).
I hope this helps Kayla! 🙂