hey! thanks for stopping by.


Screen Shot 2019-05-05 at 1.59.34 AM.pngI don’t really know why you’re reading about me. Truly.

Maybe you’re nosy, or sitting on the toilet procrastinating your next daunting task at work. Anyways, I’m happy to have you here. I’d like to think my writing is pretty entertaining although I live a pretty “average” life…depending on what you consider to be average.

What the hell do people write about on here? I feel like I’m filling out a long dating profile about myself except I’m supposed to appeal to the masses instead the pool men in DC (or lack thereof) who are swiping through my dating profile. It’s exhausting, really. Feel bad for me.

Some fun facts about me I suppose. I hate pickles more than most things. I have a dog named Kevin who is my world (he will also respond to Honey Bear, Moo, MooMa, and Cutie Bug). During the day–and most nights, sometimes well into the morning–I run a marketing agency ~entrepreneur lyfe~.

I bartend on the side to pay my exceeding insulin bills to fund my chronic condition in Trump America.  Traveling and is the bomb.com and I am HERE for this electric scooter trend. I date a lot of shitty guys (~4eva single~) which actually became the premise of this blog. Outside of wasting my time on these men and scootering around the city, I like most things that women in their twenties enjoy–besides bottomless brunch, don’t @ me, I just can’t keep up anymore. I haven’t done anything particularly extraordinary…yet. Working on the student loan debt first.

Where did the name come from? Well. I’m Beth…and I live in the District (of Columbia). This blog has gone through a few different names, but I wanted to kind of tie all aspects of my life together. Gone are the days of me really giving a shit if someone finds this blog via my LinkedIn lolz.

What to expect here? Come here to laugh (or cry) at my expense, relate to my totally #relatable stories, know where take your first date in DC or how to find a peace of mind in a world that is sorta shitty sometimes. Or maybe you found me through a slue of narcissistic Instagram posts on my feed and wanted to find out if I had any substance to me. That’s cool too. I’m just someone who always likes to write and keep it real.

Again, I don’t really know why you’re reading about me, but I pretty much always have something to say, and this is a good outlet for me without annoying the f out of my friends. Enjoy.

Hey, August Babies!

18 thoughts on “hey! thanks for stopping by.

  1. You are gorgeous! And I love your writing, it’s incredible how many stories of yours relate to mine. Please keep this blog up forever!!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was hoping you would be ugly because you sound like a whiny bitch.

    You’re right, your writing “isn’t extraordinary by any means.” It’s subpar at best. Maybe you should find something else to blog other than your past flings that didn’t work out because you seem annoying as hell. You seem to get by because of your looks which is why guys probably go for it and the realize what you’re really like and run away as fast as they can. Seriously, find a new hobby because this blog is painful to read.


    1. Hi Brian,

      Pull your head out of your ass because it looks ugly as a hat. I hope you have better things to do than inhibit the creativity and artistic expression of others. Envy is an ugly shade of green on you.



  3. Hi Beth! So I read your post “I’m Only 22. I Don’t Want Someone Else to Be My Whole World.” and I completely agree. I, like you, am a girl in love with the idea of being in love. I know that I have an open future and endless opportunities ahead. However, it is easier said than done to being completely confident in yourself and comfortable on your own. How do you go about completing yourself? How do you feel complete while being completely alone?



  4. Congrats on getting posted on huffingtonpost! I feel the exact same thing as what you wrote! I wrote something similar in my blog too but surely you wrote it BETTER! 😀 I really love your writings x


  5. Hello Beth,
    I al wondering if you could give me some assistance. I am trying to worship Howard Sterns prostate but can’t seem to find the words to express myself. If you could bestow upon me some of your wisdom and impecable diction to fully express my love of Howard Sterns penis I would greatly appreciate it. God Bless.

    Your biggest fan,
    Robert ‘BABA’ Booey.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Beth!,
    I stumbled across your blog in the Huffington Post yesterday on Facebook! And fell in LOVE with your logic. It was like that one particular blog was written JUST for me! It bottled all of my feelings and logic in writing! I’m not going to go on about my personal story, but it feels good to know that I’m not the only one who feels like we should be selfish in our 20’s!
    Your ENTIRE blog is amazing! I wish I could have Starbucks and have girl talk lol! You seem great! Continue blogging because you never know how you can touch someone as you did yesterday with my first Beth blog lol!

    Your new fan,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Lucy,

      Thanks for the feedback! You rock– feel free to reach out at any point 🙂 Nothing wrong with a virtual Starbucks date!




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